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50+ Short Funny Quotes and Funny Sayings to share

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Funny sayings

50+ Short Funny Quotes and Funny Sayings to share

Funny sayings

Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them.

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?

If you’re hotter than me, then that means I’m cooler than you.

My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.

My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people don’t think I’m dead.

You were too lazy to read that number.

Also Read: Best Funny Quotes and Sayings

Funny sayings

Funny quotes and sayings

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.

A tree’s final moment of revenge.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.

I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Life always offers you a second chance. It’s called tomorrow.

My six-pack is protected by a layer of fat.

Also Read: Deep Love Images and Quotes

Funny sayings

 

Short funny quotes

 When nothing is going right, go left.

If you have crazy friends you have everything you’ll ever need.

Silence is golden unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious.

I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.

Don’t make me laugh, I’m trying to be mad at you.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.

Also Read: Cute and Romantic Love Quotes for Her

Funny sayings

Funny sayings about life

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.

At night, I can’t fall asleep. In the morning, I can’t get up.

Also Read: Happy Anniversary Images, Wishes

Funny sayings

Seeing a spider in my room isn’t scary. It’s scary when it disappears.

If we shouldn’t eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

They say ‘don’t try this at home’ so I’m coming over to your house to try it.

When you fall, I will be there to catch you with love. Sincerely, the floor.

I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.

Also Read: Valentine day Images and quotes 

Funny sayings

Life is short quotes

What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

Why was six scared of seven? Because seven “ate” nine.

I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon.

My windows aren’t dirty, my dog is painting.

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich when I go to the dollar store.

Also Read: Happy Family Quotes Sayings and Images

Funny sayings

Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.

I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing. – Socrates

Art doesn’t transform. It just plain forms. – Roy Lichtenstein

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Every day is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried, but they wanted cash.

Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

Also Read: 30+ Beautiful Flower Quotes and Sayings

Funny sayings

Funny inspirational sayings

Of course, I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day.

My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

I really should do something with my life, maybe tomorrow.

When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

 Also Read: Happy married life Quotes

Funny sayings

 I wasn’t mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I’m mad.. yes, I’m mad!

Hmmm, this text message is a little too harsh, I’ll add ‘LOL’ at the end.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. – Erma Bombeck

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

Smiles are contagious, be a carrier.

Funny sayings

Short inspirational quotes

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up.

I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year.

I love my computer because all my friends live inside it.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years, then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield

Also Read: Happy Chocolate day 2020

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Quotes

Perfect Happy Holidays Wishes, Quotes and Images

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Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays

“I need a vacation, not a stupid weekend.”

“Don’t pick a job with great vacation time.  Pick one that doesn’t need escaping.”

“The average vacation is one-tenth playing—nine-tenths paying.”  -Arnold Glasow

Happy Holidays

Also Read: Best Rain Quotes | Happy Rain Quotes Enjoying Rain

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” – Leo Tolstoy

“Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.” – The Grinch

“Don’t bother me I’m on vacation.”

Happy Holidays

Also Read: Happy Easter Images

“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.” – Marianne Williamson

“Love the giver more than the gift.” – Brigham Young

“The joy of brightening other lives, bearing each others’ burdens, easing others’ loads and supplanting empty hearts and lives with generous gifts becomes for us the magic of the holidays.” – W. C. Jones

Happy Holidays

Also Read: 20+ Beautiful HD Beach Images and Vector Images

“It is the apathetic person that sees the cause while the charitable person sees the need.” – Shannon L. Alder

“May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

“Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.” – Edna Ferber

Happy Holidays

Also Read: 30+ Beautiful Flower Quotes and Sayings

“The holiday season is a time for storytelling, and whether you are hearing the story of a candelabra staying lit for more than a week, or a baby born in a barn without proper medical supervision, these stories often feature miracles.” – Lemony Snicket

“Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.” – Hamilton Wright Mabie

“It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future.  It is a fervent wish that every cup may overflow with blessings rich and eternal, and that every path may lead to peace.” – Agnes M. Pharo

Happy Holidays

Also Read: {Top} 40 Inspirational Good Morning Quotes and Sayings

“Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.” – Janice Maeditere

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” – Bob Hope

 

Happy Holidays Quotes

Happy Holidays

Also Read: 50+ Short Friendship Day Quotes and Sayings 

“If I were a medical man, I should prescribe a holiday to any patient who considered his work important.” – Bertrand Russell

“Thankfulness creates gratitude which generates contentment that causes peace.” – Todd Stocker

“Just a reminder that I’m going on vacation and you’re not.”

Happy Holidays

Also Read: Valentine day Images and quotes 

“Make your vocation your vacation.  That is the secret to success.” – Mark Twain

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

“Vacation calories don’t count.”

Happy Holidays

Also Read: Friendship Day Images & Quotes

“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.” – Elbert Hubbard

“My favorite holiday memory is making gingerbread houses. It’s something I’ve done with my children since they were born”. -Yolanda Hadid

“I have a fondness for jazz, particularly for jazz singers, Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald all the way through the Sinatra era”. -Bob Iger

 

Happy Holidays Message

Happy Holidays

Also Read: Happy Fathers Day Images

“My goal is to hit the gym every day I’m on vacation. Usually I just end up sleeping and drinking beer.” – Gary Allan

“One-week vacations are too short to prevent burnout; by the time you relax enough not to think about the office the week is almost up.” – Cecilia Mikalac

“I want to vacation so long, I forget all my passwords.” – Unknown

Happy Holidays

Also Read: 40+ Best Happy Halloween Quotes, Pictures & Images

“On holiday, I don’t want any plans or structure. If I want to wake up at lunchtime or have breakfast for dinner, then I will”. -Karren Brady

“When I travel, I just take what I need and I run. I always have my briefcase stuffed with work, even when I go on a holiday”. -Ian Schrager

“Breakfast Dinner Will Want My great hero is Billie Holiday, and I’ve always wanted to do an album of standards with a piano-led quartet”. -Tim Curry

 

Also Read: Get Well Soon Quotes, Images, Messages and Wishes

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60 Quotes About Smile That Put Smile on Your Face

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Quotes About Smile

Quotes About Smile

 

“You shouldn’t never regret something that made you smile.” – Mei Maejor

“Smiling is the best way to face every problem, to crush every fear and to hide every pain.” – Unknown

“That smile could move mountains. It could also break hearts. “ – Kylie Scott

“Teeth aren’t pearly, until you smile.” – Anthony Liccione

“Smile at strangers and you just might change a life.” – Steve Maraboli

Quotes About Smile

Also Read: 50+ Best Short Smile Quotes that make your Day Happier

“Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that’s beautiful.”– Rashida Jones

“Always find opportunities to make someone smile, and to offer random acts of kindness in everyday life.” – Roy T. Bennett

“Be the living expression of God’s kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile” – Mother Teresa

“Smile more. Smiling can make you and others happy.” – Roy T. Bennett

“Everyone smiles in the same language.” – George Carlin

Quotes About Smile

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“When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.” – Steve Maraboli

“Smile. Be open and welcoming.” – Ephraim Buchwald

“Learn to smile at every situation. See it as an opportunity to prove your strength and ability.” – Joe Brown

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia

“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.” – Phyllis Diller

Quotes About Smile

Also Read: Depression Quotes and motivational sayings 2020

“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose. “ – Tom Wilson

“A smile doesn’t always stand for a perfect life.” – Faraaz Kazi

“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.” – William Hazlitt

“When things are difficult, smile by faith. Don’t wait until you feel better.” – Joel Osteen

“A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear.” – Marilyn Monroe

Quotes About Smile

Also Read: Quotes About Being Strong when Life is hard and Tough

“After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul’s infeasible duty is to be of good cheer.” – William R. Alger

“Just one smile immensely increases the beauty of the universe.” – Sri Chinmoy

“For a moment at least, be a smile on someone else’s face.” – Dejan Stojanovic

“I like to smile. I smile even when I’m nervous since it calms me down and shows my friendliness.”  -Yani Tseng

“We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” – Mother Teresa

Quotes About Smile

“It seems to me that what we call beauty in a face lies in the smile.” – Leo Tolstoy

“An enigmatic smile is worth ten pages of dialogue.” – Connie Brockway

“Everywhere you go, take a smile with you.” – Sasha Asevedo

“The world always looks brighter from behind a smile.” – Unknown

Quotes About Smile

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“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love.” – Maya Angelou

“Strong people are ones who can smile for others’ happiness.” – Veronica Purcell

“You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile.” – Charlie Chaplin

“Look back, and smile on perils past.” – Walter Scott

“Children show me in their playful smiles the divine in everyone.” – Michael Jackson

Quotes About Smile

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“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain

“It’s hard not to feel happy when you make someone smile.” – Roy T. Bennett

Anthony D’Angelo quote “Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart”

“Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.” – Anthony J D’Angelo

“Share your smile with the world. It’s a symbol of friendship and peace.” – Christie Brinkley

 

Famous Smile Quotes

“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” – Mother Teresa

“Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” – Mother Teresa

“I can sing and dance. I can smile – a lot.” – Chris Colfer

“If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.” – Andy Rooney

“Never regret anything that made you smile.” – Mark Twain

Quotes About Smile

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“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” ​– Dr. Seuss

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.” ​– Richard M. Devos

“Smile big. Laugh often. Never take this life for granted.”

“Smile, even if it’s a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”

“Always wear a smile sometime during the day, it makes you feel happier and younger.” ​– Kylie Bax

Quotes About Smile

Also Read: 50 Motivational Greatness Quotes for Achieving success in Life

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.” ​– W.C. Fields

“Smile at the obstacle, for it is a bridge.” ​– Medusa

“Agentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”

“Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart.” – Anthony J. D’Angelo

“Smile from your heart nothing is more beautiful than a woman who is happy to be herself.”– Kubra Sait

Quotes About Smile

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“Every day is a new beginning. Take a deep breath, smile and start again.”

“Nothing shakes the smiling heart.” ​– Santosh Kalwar

“A smile is a happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” ​– Tom Wilson

“Smiling is the best way to face every problem, to crush every fear and to hide every pain.”

“Of all the medicines in the inner life, a smile is by far the best medicine.” ​– Sri Chinmoy

Also Read: {Best} 40+ Sad Quotes Sad Images and Sayings

 

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Quotes

50 Motivational Greatness Quotes for Achieving success in Life

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Greatness Quotes

Greatness Quotes

“A revolution is not a bed of roses. A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past.” Fidel Castro

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

“We should always believe we are the best.” Cristiano Ronaldo

“You can overcome anything, if and only if you love something enough.” Lionel Messi

“You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?” Rumi

Greatness quotes

Also Read: 40+ Best Happy Sunday Quotes and Sunday Images

“You must understand that there is more than one path to the top of the mountain.” Miyamoto Musashi

“Embracing chaos might be the journey to take to finding peace.” Rachel Hollis

“The questions you ask yourself will determine the course of your life.” Tom Bilyeu

“No one is going to come to your house and make your dreams come true.” Grant Cardone

“Fear is my ultimate guide.” David Goggins

Greatness quotes

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“The difference between a thought and a decision is the immediate action you take.” Ed Mylett

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” Helen Keller

“Happiness is not something ready made, it comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama

“People are capable, at any time in their lives of doing what they dream of.” Paulo Coelho

“It is better to create than to learn! Creating is the essence of life.” Julius Caesar

Quotes about Greatness

Greatness quotes

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“Playing it safe and taking no risks is a shortcut to poverty.” Jordan Belfort

“If we are true to ourselves, we can not be false to anyone.” William Shakespeare

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.” John F. Kennedy

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” Theodore Roosevelt

“I’m dreaming for a living.” Stephen Spielberg

Greatness quotes

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“I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.” Kurt Cobain

“We become what we think about.” Earl Nightingale

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines practiced every day.” Jim Rohn

“Success is something you attract by the person you become.” John Earl Shoaff

“Life is short. Do big things.” Robin Sharma

Motivational Greatness Quotes

Greatness quotes

Also Read: Happy Wednesday Quotes to Motivate and Inspire You 

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” Mark Twain

“Incredible things can be done simply if we are committed to making them happen.” Sadhguru

“That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.” Abraham Lincoln

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” Henry David Thoreau

“Education is the key to unlock the golden door of freedom.” George Washington Carver

Greatness quotes

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“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” George Washinton

“I slept and dreamt life is beauty, I woke and found life is duty.” Confucius

“Whoever is happy will make others happy.” Anne Frank

“Stop selling. Start helping.” Zig Ziglar

“Words that do not match deeds are unimportant.” Che Guevara

Greatness quotes

Also Read: Sunday Good Morning Images pictures Hd your loved ones

“The greatest wealth is the richness of the soul.” Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

“Definiteness of purpose is the starting point of all achievement.” W. Clement Stone

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” George Bernard Shaw

“Our life is what our thoughts make it.” Marcus Aurelius

“Nothing in life that’s worth anything is easy.” Barack Obama

Best Greatness Quotes

Greatness quotes

Also Read: 50+ Happy Friday Quotes Inspirational and Motivational

“The road that is rough is the one that leads to the greatest height.” Seneca

“This is no time for ease and comfort. It is time to dare and endure.” Winston Churchill

“Any crusade requires optimism and the ambition to aim high.” Paul Allen

“There is nothing impossible to him who will try.” Alexander The Great

“We were scared, but our fear was not as strong as our courage.” Malala Yousafzai

Greatness quotes

 

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“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds.” Bob Marley

“I know what I can do, so I never doubt myself.” Usain Bolt

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

“I am a big believer in the value of traveling while you are young. The experiences you have in other countries can inspire greatness.” Blake Mycoskie

“Keep in mind that you’ll have true happiness, true fulfillment, not living to get but living to give.” Joel Osteen

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” George Bernard Shaw

 

Also Read: Top 40+ Good Morning Quotes in Hindi with Images 

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